The Invitation
by navycorpsman
Summary: Neela ponders life with Ray as a wedding approaches.
1. The Invitation

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic, except for Sarah and her parents. They are owned by NBC, ER, etc._**

**_Spoilers: None that I Know of..._**

**_Content Warning: Possible Strong Language_**

**_Summary: Neela ponders life with Ray as a wedding approaches._**

* * *

It was tacked on the board in the Doctor's Lounge and she stole a look at the words.

_Mr. and Mrs. Richard Justus_

_request the honour of your presence_

_at the marriage of their daughter_

_Sarah Marie_

_to_

_Raymond Barnett_

_on Saturday evening, the seventeenth of May_

_at half after seven o'clock_

_The Church of St. Jude_

_6458 North Orleans Street_

_Chicago, Illinois_

_Reception following ceremony at the church._

Neela didn't know how to respond. She hadn't even known Ray was engaged. She vaguely remembered meeting Sarah at the Christmas party, but was positive that Ray hadn't mentioned he was engaged to her.

She sat on the couch and leaned her head back. _That's only two weeks away. Where are they registered?_ She must have sighed heavier than she thought because she felt someone sit next to her. She looked over and saw Abby. "Hey."

"Hey." Abby said. "You okay?"

"No. I haven't even told him, Abby."

"So, tell him." Abby pushed.

"Tell him what?" Neela stood up. "That I'm sorry I've been a bloody wanker and pushed him out of my life?"

"It's been 5 years, Neela." Abby stood up and poured a cup of coffee. "I think it's time he knew. What if Sarah isn't the one he wants to be with? What if he still loves you?" She took a sip of coffee and poured it out. "Okay...Lane no longer makes the coffee. Makes me miss Morris' coffee."

Neela laughed. "Must be really bad if you miss Morris' coffee." She stood at the door. "I don't know how to tell him."

Abby dumped the pot of coffee out. "Just tell him."

* * *

For a week, Neela fought with herself on whether or not to talk to Ray and what to say if she did. She made her way to work and passed by a wedding boutique. Inside, she saw Ray with Sarah, making, what she assumed, was last minute plans.

"Neela! Wait up!" She heard Ray's voice behind her.

"Ray." She turned around. "How have you been?" She returned his hug.

"I've been good. Getting married is stressful, though." He sighed. "But, looking forward to it. How's things with you and Gates, by the way?"

Neela sighed. As she looked up at Ray, trying to think of the answer he'd want to hear, she couldn't help but think that her rebound romance with Gates cost her Ray. "Um, we're fine. At least for right now." She forced a smile as Sarah wrapped her arms in Ray's. "Glad to see all things are going well for you, Ray." She nodded to Sarah. "Sarah, congratulations."

"Thank you, Dr. Rasgotra." Sarah's blonde hair and blue eyes complimented Ray's brown hair and green eyes perfectly. She was perfectly suited to his height as well and Neela found the urge to hurry and get out of there before she found a reason to hate Sarah more than she already did. Sarah smiled a beautiful and honest smile. "I do hope you will attend our wedding. Ray has spoken so often of you that I feel I know you."

Neela smiled back. "If I have the evening off, I'll be there."

"You okay, Neela?" Ray's voice scared her again.

"I'm fine, Ray."

"I know you, Neela. You're not as fine as you say. Talk to me."

"I'm fine, Ray. Honest." She smiled a fake smile, hoping Ray wouldn't see.


	2. The Party

Ray didn't believe the smile, but said nothing. "Look, you can talk to me if things aren't going well with Gates because I know someone who'd be..."

Neela laughed. "No more setting me up, thank you very much."

Ray feigned hurt, but laughed as well. "You're missing out." He nudged her.

"Ray?"

"Yeah, Neela?"

"Does it really feel like 5 years has gone by?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's been so long since we actually joked like this. Actually talked and yet, we're picking up right where we left off."

Ray glanced down at her. "I guess when two people are connected on a certain level, they could go years without saying a word to each other and then they meet up again and it's like no time has lapsed at all."

"That's what I mean." Neela sighed, trying to gather up the courage. "Look, Ray, there's something I've got to tell you."

"What?" They stopped in the ambulance bay.

"I have to tell you that..."

"HEY! RAY!" Jerry's voice echoed in the bay. "Weaver's looking for you in the lounge!"

"Thanks, Jerry." Ray laughed. He looked at Neela. "Look, I gotta go. We'll catch up later and talk, okay?"

"Okay." Neela sighed as she watched Ray walk in the doors.

"You tell him?" Abby's voice caused Neela to jump.

"Didn't have the chance." Neela looked at Abby. "She's gorgeous. Tall. Thin. Blonde. Perfect complexion."

"I know. We hate her." Abby smiled. "Look, Neela. If Ray loves you as much today as he did five years ago...Uh oh." Abby clamped her mouth when she saw Neela stare hard at her. "You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't. He simply told me I was the best friend he ever had."

"That's Ray code for 'I love you', Neela." Abby dug her hands deep into her lab coat pockets. "Talk to him, Neela."

"I will. Right after shift."

* * *

Ray slowly opened the door to the lounge, almost scared of Kerry Weaver. As he poked his head in, shouts of "SURPRISE!" nearly sent him back on his feet. He laughed at Kerry, in a party hat, hugged him. "Congratulations, Ray. You knew you couldn't escape here for your wedding and honeymoon without a party, right?"

Ray smiled. "Nah. I was hoping you would wait until _after_ the honeymoon." He teased.

"It's great news, Ray." Sam hugged Ray. "The guys get a bachelor party for you later...but for now, it's the women's turn. So, sit down, relax and prepare to laugh your gorgeous little ass off." Ray looked at Sam, who was not acting her usual self. "Ladies, shall we?" Sam turned to Kerry, Lane and the newly arrived Abby. They formed a line in front of Ray.

Abby looked at Ray and hid a grin. "How we love Ray? Oh, let us count the ways."

Sam held up eyeliner. "For all the times he came in liner upon his lids. For all those times that wearing said liner, scared the little kids."

Kerry held up a Rolling Stones tee shirt. "For all the times at work, he'd dress like a rock star. Chasing a rocker's dream to one day go very far."

Emily Lane smiled, her turn next. "For all the times he took time to care for those who were in need. And for all the times he came with donuts, us hungry nurses to feed."

Abby smiled and looked intently at Ray. "For all the times he made us laugh and more times that he made us cry. Someone let Sarah know...she's marrying one hell of a guy!"

Ray laughed. "That was the oddest, strangest, yet most impressive thing yet. I didn't know you gals could rhyme." He ducked as Abby and Sam threw their papers at him. He held his hands up. "Okay! Okay! I surrender!" He laughed harder.

Neela only watched. She couldn't be a part of this. Her heart was being ripped out and she knew she only had herself to blame. She made her way to the roof, where she could watch the waves of Lake Michigan and forget that there was a party in Ray's honor in the lounge.


	3. The Confession And The Hurt

Neela reveled in the quiet of the roof. She had often come up here to think about life, death, and love. Right now, she found herself thinking about love and loss. "Thought I'd find you up here." Ray's voice made her jump out of her skin. "You missed a great party."

"Sorry. Didn't know there was one." She lied.

Ray nodded. He knew she was lying. He had seen her poke her head in and when she disappeared, he knew where to find her. "Wish you could have heard the silly poem that Abby, Emily, Kerry, and Sam did. Pretty silly shit, you know?"

Neela forced a smile as she looked at him. "I'm sure it was." She resumed looking at the lake.

"Talk to me, Neela." Ray leaned on the railing.

"About what?"

"Whatever you're thinking."

She sighed. "I missed the party because this is killing me." She wiped a stray tear.

"What?"

She faced him. "You getting married. It's hard for me to stand by, watching the man I love marry someone else." She gasped when said the words. She hadn't intended to tell him like that, but they just seemed to roll off her tongue.

Ray took a deep breath, trying to absorb what she just said. "Why now, Neela?"

"Better late than never, I suppose." She unsuccessfully joked.

"No, Neela. It's not always better late than never." Ray found himself angry.

"I'm sorry, Ray. I..."

"What did you hope to accomplish by telling me this now?" He saw the hurt in her eyes and he recognized the hurt look. It was the same one he gave her five years earlier as she packed up and moved out. "Did you think I would call off my wedding because you finally admitted you loved me?"

"Ray..."

"My heart is not at your disposal, Neela. I waited for two years for you after Gallant's death. Then you and Gates started dating. You never came back, Neela." He felt the anger and the hurt he'd been feeling for the past five years rise to the surface. "I gave up hope that the woman I once dreamed of building some sort of life with moved on and it wasn't with me. You made it perfectly clear you wanted no part of me and so I gave you the space you needed. I loved you, Neela. I loved you with every fiber of my being and you...you took my heart and shredded what was left of it. You think it was easy for me to watch you walk down the aisle in your golden white sari to marry a man you barely knew? You never once thought of how it affected me. That day was the hardest day I had in a long time. It wasn't easy to fake my smile or joy for you and Gallant." He looked at her as she cried. "How long did you want me to wait, Neela, before you decided to tell me you loved me? How long did you want me hanging on to hope that you and I could finally be together?"

"I...I...I...don't know." Neela blubbered.

"I found someone in Sarah that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I look forward to building that life with her. Having kids with her. Going to Disney with her. She's the soulmate I thought I had in you." He turned but she grabbed his arm. "What?"

"Don't leave me."

Anyone who knew Ray and knew him well knew he wasn't the one to ever seek revenge, but that's all he could think of at this point. Hurting her like she hurt him. He pulled his arm out of her grasp and glared at her. "How does it feel to be deserted by the one you love?"

"Ray, don't..." Neela's face was a waterfall of tears.

Ray coldly looked at her, hoping she didn't see his heart breaking at the sight of her crying. "You've made your bed with Gates, now lie in it." He walked off, knowing he had deeply hurt the one woman who taught him what love was.


	4. The Wedding

Neela sat in the dark of her apartment. _How did it get to this? Where did I learn to shut people out when I need them the most?_ She sipped her tea, a small part of her wishing it were alcohol. Ray's words had cut her and cut her deeply. She stood up and looked out the window at the lights of Chicago. "This must have been the depth of his pain when I left him." She spoke to no one. She wiped some tears. "I'm so sorry for hurting him. I never meant to fall in love with him. Michael was the safe choice. I should have listened to my heart…then it would have been Ray there…" She sipped her tea, not fully aware her door was slightly cracked. She continued talking as though someone were listening. "If I could just…just rewind time and go back 5 years, I'd tell him and not push him away from me, but pull him closer."

Ray stood in the cracked door, not saying a word. He had come to apologize for being so harsh and he heard her talking. He didn't know to whom she was speaking, but he was certain he wasn't intended to hear it, so he quietly stole away. He made his way to Ike's for a cold one. "Problems?" A familiar voice made Ray jump out of his skin.

"Jesus, Brett. Give a guy a chance to relax before you sneak up on him, scaring him shitless." Ray gave his former bandmate a 'man' hug. "Great to see you, man."

"You too. You look great." Brett ordered a tall one. "Looks like end of week you strap on that old ball and chain. Your days of flirting with scantily women are over my friend." He looked closely at Ray. "But, they've been over for a long time. Ever since, uh, what's her name?"

"Neela." Ray downed a sip of beer. "Neela Rasgotra."

"Oh yeah. The one you tried to set me up with, but it didn't work out because she was too busy thinking of you."

Ray put his money on the counter and stood up. "Great seeing you, Brett."

"Where you going?" Brett asked. "I just got here, man."

"I know, but I'm going. I've got things to do to prepare for the wedding."

Brett laughed. "What? Grooms are now planning the weddings?" He held his hands up when Ray glared at him. "Sorry, man."

"Great seeing you, man." Ray shook his old friend's hand and left.

* * *

Ray shifted uncomfortably. He had never been comfortable in suits, much less this penguin suit he had to wear for his wedding. He looked at Luka. "So. How do I look?" Ray laughed.

"Like someone getting married." Luka adjusted Ray's bowtie. "You look fine."

Ray turned back and looked at himself in the full-length mirror. He couldn't help but wonder if Neela would show up. He knew he had hurt her and hurt her deeply. He wished he could take the words back, but he couldn't anymore than she could take back the past 5 years.

Ray made his way to the end of the aisle, noticing Neela sitting in the row behind his parents. He felt a little relieved to see she had made it. _Probably forced to come by Abby._ He thought. The bridal procession began and he caught his first glimpse of Sarah. _God, she's beautiful._ He smiled. As she made her way down the aisle, Ray felt his heart swell with pride that the beautiful woman sitting in the row behind his parents…_Jesus, Ray! She's NOT the one you're marrying!_ She was handed over to him by her father and Ray smiled.

Neela sat next to Abby, fighting the urge to stand up when the minister asked if anyone had good reason why this man and this woman shouldn't be married. As the minister continued, Neela decided that she had to leave. She tried to leave quietly, but there was still a small commotion as she slid past Abby. She was acutely aware that eyes were on her. She looked at Ray and Sarah. "Sorry. Loo calls." She lied. She tried to not show her pain as she made her way down the aisle, but she knew it showed.


	5. The End?

Ray watched as Neela walked out. He looked at Sarah. "I'm sorry." He lifted her veil and kissed her cheek and, much to the dismay and delight of the wedding guests, ran after Neela. "NEELA!" He yelled.

She sat on the curb and looked up at him. "Aren't you supposed to be getting married?" Her words were sharp and short.

Ray sat next to her. "Why did you come?"

"Abby."

"I knew it." Ray laughed. "I have to apologize for…"

"Don't. I deserved to hear every word you said." She wiped a tear. "You need to get back inside before everyone thinks that I'm ruining your wedding."

"You already did."

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't…"

"When she walked down the aisle, it wasn't her that I saw, Neela. I saw you."

She turned and faced him. "Don't play with me, Ray Barnett." She stood up as the taxi she called pulled up. Ray watched once again as she stood in the door, looking at him, almost begging him to give her a reason to stay. "You said everything you needed to the other day."

"No, I didn't. Not really." He leaned on the door and looked at her. "You're the best friend I've ever had and I can't lose you. Not ever again." He stepped around the door and pulled her to him. "Damnit, Neela. You have always had this pronounced effect on me. I can't live life without you." He wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "You have my heart and you always will. I love you, Neela."

"Why now, Ray?" She stared deep in his eyes.

"Because I'm done pretending." His lips softly brushed hers. "I never stopped loving you. I'll never stop loving you." His mouth delicately embraced hers in a kiss.

"AHEM!" Ray heard a cough behind him.

He turned around and looked at Sarah standing there, arms crossed, crying. "Sarah. I'm so…"

"Why now, Ray? In front of our family? Our friends?" She wiped a tear.

"Look, Sarah. I'm sorry that…"

"Don't be. It's better now than after we're married." She looked at Neela. "I somehow knew he'd always run back to you. I hated you for that. I never had his full love. You always held his heart and…" She looked at Neela. "Take him, you tramp."

Ray looked hard at Sarah. "There's no need for that, Sarah."

"Isn't there? She appears on my wedding day and takes the man I love." Sarah's voice raised.

"I NEVER LOVED YOU!" Ray yelled back, surprised at the words that escaped his lips. Seeing Sarah's reaction, he hung his head. 'Jesus, Sarah. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you ask me to marry you? Am I some sort of booby prize? Second place? Why, Ray, if you never loved me, did you want to marry me?" Sarah's voice was hurt and Ray told himself she had every right to be.

"I never loved you the way you deserved to be loved." He looked as Sarah. "You were just settling. I know that's harsh to say and to hear, but it's true." Ray took a deep breath. "I really thought I did love you. I really thought I could build a life with you and be happy, but the truth is…it wouldn't have been fair to you. Every time I kissed you or made love to you, I only saw Neela's face."

Sarah held her chin up. "I'm sorry too, Ray. I would have made a better wife." She picked up her dress and headed inside.

Neela stood there, jaw on ground. She looked up at Ray. "You hurt her, Ray."

"Not as much as I hurt you." He enveloped her in his arms. "Jesus, Neela. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and I never will." His lips enshrouded hers. The soft, airy kiss soon turned passionate and Ray gently backed Neela into the taxi. Briefly pulling himself from the kiss, he breathlessly told the taxi driver where to take them.

* * *

The End? Or should I see where the story wants to go next with Ray and Neela? 


	6. The Beginning?

The kissing seemed ceaseless as they made their way into Ray's apartment. With each step into his place, another item of clothing was lost. He gently backed her to the couch. He couldn't wait any longer to be a part of her. Ray slid her dress off and inhaled deeply at the sight before him. Many times he had wondered what she would look like naked, but he hadn't ever imagined she'd be this beautiful.

His hands expertly brushed her breasts and her body subconsciously moved in response. His hands slid down her side, taking the rest of the dress with them. The more she stood there, the more he couldn't take it. Ray gently laid her back on the couch, kissing and nipping her neck. The urge to be inside of her grew with each second as his hands explored every inch of her skin.

She helped him remove his tuxedo in a rather clumsy way, the past 5 years of want and need of each other rising to the surface. Ray looked down at her and smiled. His fingers gently playing with the band of the lace panties she wore. He needed to taste her; to know her fully. Neela ran her fingers along his back as he left a trail of kisses from her neck to just above the panty line. "These heels have got to go." Ray laughed softly. He reached down and carefully unbuckled each heel. Then he kissed her leg from the ankle to her inner thigh, teasing her. He felt her body move as he kissed the lace, pulling it back a couple times. He cheekily looked up at her. "Want something?"

"You tease." Neela could only breathlessly reply as he gently pulled the sides down.

"Am I?" He cockily grinned as his thumbs gently rubbed the outline of her, teasing her with what he was going to do.

"Yes, you are." Her body moved as he thrust his tongue in her. The pleasure was intense with each thrust of the tongue. He couldn't help but think about her taste and made every effort to make sure he drank her wine carefully, deliberately. The pleasure for Neela was painfully pleasurable with each sip. His name slipped out of her lips like honey and he reveled in hearing her call his name. He felt her body shake with pleasure and he felt the heat when she finally exploded. He looked up at her, smiling at the sight of her. He made his way up to her and she smiled at him. "You are a tease."

Ray could only smile before kissing her, allowing her to taste what he had tasted. With each snaking of the tongue, the need to be one with her grew stronger and he slowly guided himself into her, watching her face as she felt him for the first time. _Take it slow, Barnett._ He told himself. _But, Jesus, she feels so good!_ He slowly moved in and out of her, feeling the build up. He held still for a second. "Shit."

"What is it, Ray?" Neela kissed his ear.

"It's just that…" _How do I explain this?_ "Nothing, Neela." He resumed moving in and out of her. The pleasure was intense and he felt himself coming, whether he was ready to or not. He erupted, her name spilling from his lips. He laid his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Neela. I'm…"

"Don't be." She softly kissed him. He looked at her and her fingers traced the outline of his jaw. "There's plenty of time to play catch up, isn't there?" And she gently kissed him again. With each kiss, she could feel him rising. She smiled as he nipped at her neck. "This is going to be one hell of a night, Ray."

He smiled. "It sure is." He mumbled into her neck.

* * *

Continue? End? WHAT NOW? LoL 


End file.
